The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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