I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We have so much sex to catch up on
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
