Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
