thus making me awesome and them whores
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
