I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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