i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
