Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
