So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
