Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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