The maid of honor just puked.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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