The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
