we have officially lost it.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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