your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
