it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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