Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
