Buhtt sex?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
