Will you blow on my dice?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
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