a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
