I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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