it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
