and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize