you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
