It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
