This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
