I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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