My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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