This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
When are your genitals available?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
