i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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