Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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