I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
