A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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