guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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