No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm way too hungover for life right now
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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