Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I think I am morally bankrupt
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
