I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My pussy is not your playground.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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