I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
