My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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