Cold hands, warm shart.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
