he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
