I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
