I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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