Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
