This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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