i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
