I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
