You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
