so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Randomize