I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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