i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
