i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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