who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
