Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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