You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
