Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Redeem this text for a blowjob
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
