He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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