There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
