Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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