i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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