yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
