"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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