I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
